July 20, 2007:
I took a couple of days off work this week - we have no sitter this week and I needed a couple of days off anyway. We had free museum passes from the doctor's office because the kids got their wellness exams a few weeks ago. My neighbor (a senior citizen) had taken #3 to the museum earlier this summer with her granddaughter and they took the Park & Ride from our suburb and then rode the train in town. She talked about how cheap, easy and fun it was, so I thought I'd give it a try.
I got on Houston Metro's website and printed out two sets of route plans coming and going, just so we had options if one didn't work out. Printed directions, map of downtown to make sure I went the right way once on the ground (why I can drive without ever getting lost but can't walk to save my life is a mystery!!) Had a route map for the train, I thought I had it all!
Of course, it's Monday. So our day started EARLY - we dropped #4 off at his preschool at 6:30 a.m., then I had to stop by my office to leave something for the office manager to finish in my absence and we were back on the road by 7:05 and headed to the Park & Ride. We arrived around 7:15, went in the wrong way, got stuck behind a bus who wouldn't MOVE and then had to back all the way out of an oval driveway and turn around (at which point the bus in the front of the line honked at me!) and then drive out and back in the right gate. Then I had to find a parking place. There were two buses, but the first one wasn't going to the exact same place as the second (like Downtown and DT/Houston Center are so different???). We got ON the right bus but then found there was no way to buy a day pass which is what we really needed. I had to stuff my last $5 into the machine on the bus and it thankfully spit out 4 transfer vouchers so we could get on the train. The bus ride went okay, but maybe the first bus would have been better (it was full anyway, so it didn't matter.) A nice man on the bus gave us a route schedule, which was very helpful on the way in. We stopped at the Addicks Park & Ride, the Northwest Transit Center and then into downtown where I think we stopped at EVERY corner.
We FINALLY got to our stop downtown and got off the bus to catch the train. We couldn't tell from where we stood which way to go for the SOUTH-bound train. Naturally, we picked the wrong one. We got back across 2 streets in downtown traffic to the right stop...just as the train pulled away. We waited for the next train while an OVERLY-friendly man chatted with us. He continued to be "helpful" until we got off the train, one stop past where we intended. So we hiked halfway through Hermann Park back to the Museum of Natural Sciences. By then I really had to PEE! The employees at the Museum were nice enough to let us in since they were about to open anyway. It was the highlight of my day!!! Thankfully the Museum takes credit cards since the bus got the last of my cash. They also had an ATM - highway robbery on the fees, but I didn't care!! We had a wonderful day at the museum and even ran into a lady who frequently babysits for us. We hadn't seen her in a while, so we had a nice time catching up.
When it was time to leave the museum, I checked the time and the two sets of plans to get home. It wasn't TOO far or TOO hot, so instead of paying for the train (because there's no way to get a transfer for the bus if you get on the train FIRST...) we decided to walk to the bus stop. It was a little hike from the Museum down to Hermann Hospital - basically the width of Hermann park down Fannin. We made it in plenty of time and even called the Metro number on the sign for our bus home to check the time. The automated voice of "Silicone Sally" said the bus would arrive in about 40 minutes. We went inside the Hermann clinic building, used the restroom, got a drink & a little snack, and then waited outside. There were TWO signs for our bus, caddy-corner from each other across the intersection. The sign on the OTHER corner said "Inbound" - well, we were going OUTbound from the city center, so we waited at the other corner. And we saw our bus come and leave from the INBOUND side. THAT was a bummer! I called the Metro number back - it turns out the OTHER stop was the right stop, but the next bus wasn't coming for another 30 minutes. So we used the restroom again, then crossed to the other bus stop and WAITED...
Our bus finally arrived, and it was FUUULLLLL. We got the last 3 seats (for the 4 of us) so I crammed the 3 kids into two seats and I took the other. On the way, we stopped at the bus stop across the street from the museum. THAT would have been nice to know an hour earlier! We arrived at the Northwest Transit Center about the time my tiny bladder decided it was full again. No time to get off, of course - onward to the Addicks Park & Ride - faster, please! And then to our Park & Ride with me doing the "pee-pee dance" in my seat and trying to think about the desert. I got to the front (really regretting being the LAST people on the bus, sitting way in the back!) and ask the driver if there was any restroom at this stop. He pointed to the guard shack and said, "There's one in there." So we got off and RAN to the shack - it was LOCKED and EMPTY and I'm pretty sure there was no restroom in there anyway. GRRRRRRR. By now I was doing the knee-clench waddle as we sprinted (yeah, right, with my knees clenched together!) for the car. About halfway there, I KNEW I was not going to make it. I yelled to the kids, "I'm not gonna make it, kids! SHIELDS!" Thank GOD they knew what to do as I ducked between two parked cars and dropped my britches just in time, my little human shields hiding my shame. SWEET RELIEF, even without the privacy of a door, walls, or TOILET PAPER.
Okay, now I was feeling like a vagrant and perhaps beginning to smell like one, too. I hiked my shorts back up and march on to the car, pretending like nothing was wrong. Thankfully we got a plastic bag with our purchases at the museum - one should always keep one in the car for emergencies (like sick kids or not being if full control of your own bodily functions!) The rest of the day was kind of blah-blah-blah after that.
Hopefully you haven't laughed so hard you lost control of YOUR bodily functions! I just had to share one of the most humiliating moment in my life. I hope some of you will understand (and have maybe even had enough babies to be able to FULLY relate to my story!)
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