Adventures with the OAG Child Support Division

Blog Date: Friday, November 18, 2016

Thursday's visit was my third or fourth visit to one of the Office of the Attorney General (OAG) Child Support Division (CSD) offices in Fort Bend County, Texas, where I live. I have previously been to the location in Missouri City, and this was my first visit to the location in Rosenberg. There are slight differences in how people are seen at each location, so I'll start with Missouri City.

Upon arrival, each person must go to the window, show their appointment letter and ID, verify their appointment time, and then fill out another information sheet. The form requires a Social Security Number, which can be awkward when you're sitting in a crowded room in plastic chairs. I generally wait until I am ready to turn in the form at the window to add this information.

At previous visits to the Missouri City location, I have waited between 30 minutes and an hour to be called back. I have always arrived a few minutes ahead of the appointment time, but have NEVER been seen anywhere close to that time. I generally plan to lose half a day of work for these appointments. Once called back at the Missouri City location, people are directed to another room where there is another 30 minute minimum wait. When you finally are called to an office, the amount of assistance that can be offered is minimal. I am envious of the people who show up prepared to negotiate a change in arrangements and can conduct their business in a civil and efficient manner. I have a contentious ex, so we are never actually able to accomplish anything in exchange for the half-day expenditure of time and effort.

On Thursday, November 17, 2016, I made my first visit to the Rosenberg location at 117 Lane Drive. The reception area and process is nearly identical to that of the Missouri City location. I waited a full hour before being called back. While waiting, a woman came in and sat next to  me with a developmentally delayed teen daughter, who was clearly difficult to manage. I heard her apologize to the ladies behind the window for the disruption her daughter was causing, as she reminded them that they would NOT see her the previous day when she had childcare. I truly felt for her situation, trying to manage her daughter with only some videos on her phone for a full hour. My frustration in these visits is always tempered by the realization that the other people I see there appear to be struggling more than I am. As is always the case, my ex has positioned himself in some distant corner of the room, angry face on, and staring at his phone to avoid any possibility of eye contact.

After pursuing him for nearly 2 years for unreimbursed health care expenses that totaled over $2,000 at the time, I had petitioned the OAG CSD to intervene, which led to this meeting. When we were finally called to one of the offices we met with T.R., who was both efficient and courteous. My ex was combative and abrasive to both of us during the meeting, which she managed in a polite but assertive manner. When she could see that he was unwilling to negotiate on any point, she simply made copies of the information I brought and referred the case to court. She explained the process and the path forward very well and I was pleased with her support and professionalism.

While the staff at this particular OAG CSD office was been better than I anticipated, the wait times are simply too long. As much as people dread having to visit the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), the process there has been drastically improved. I can schedule appointments online. The first available time may be months away, but at least I know I have an appointment that fits my schedule rather than waiting for a letter to arrive in the mail with a time that may not work as well. At the DMV, you can "get in line online" before driving to their location, and then receive text messages to let you know when it is nearly your turn. While waiting at their location, there is a large monitor in each waiting area to indicate how many people are ahead of you in line. It may not actually be any faster, but having more information allows people to make decisions about how and where to wait for their appointment. If I could check in online for my OAG appointment and THEN drive to Rosenberg, I could get more done before I left my office, or I could find a coffee shop and get some work done while I waited.

Blog Date: Friday, April 28, 2017

I finally got a hearing notice on January 30, 2017, advising of a hearing date set for March 1, 2017. I retained my original attorney in February since she planned to move the case out of the IV-D court and back to the judge who had presided over my divorce in the hopes of also being reimbursed for legal fees to bring this case before the court. After speaking with a friend of hers at the Fort Bend County Courthouse, she decided it would be best to leave the case in the 505th court, where it was already on the docket, and only move it if we couldn't reach an agreement. The benefit of this was being able to address the matter more quickly; however, this left me unable to petition for attorney fees, which I have typically been awarded in similar matters in the past.

During negotiations over the $2,000 arrearage, my attorney advised that I forgive $200 of the amount owed in an effort to settle the matter. We agreed to an amount of $1852. The attorney for the OAG then completed a child support review and included modifications in the orders to bring the reimbursement amount for health insurance current and set child support to his current level of income. The $1852 settlement and the health insurance reimbursement were to begin March 1, and the new child support amount was to begin April 1.

At this point the OAG attorney mentioned a credit she believed my ex had for over-garnishment of his pay. She believed he had a credit of $1,100 and was quite adamant that I accept the difference between the two as my portion of the judgment. I produced my records of amounts received from the OAG since the beginning of the case, to show her I had received a total of about $96 that I could not explain, but no more. After another half-hour of attempting to explain this, while she insisted the OAG CSD records had no errors, we finally agreed that the $1852 would indeed be paid to me and that if any credit was found in their system, it would be addressed at the end of the child support obligation in 2021. She offered to connect me with the financial specialist in her office to review the records of payments received, but multiple e-mails from me to the OAG attorney have gone unanswered.

Quick math tells me this is not a good deal. I am owed over $2,000. I pay my attorney a $2,500 retainer. I take half a day of vacation to address the matter in court. When I leave court, I am down $4,500, but hope to collect $1,852 at $100/month over the next 18 months, with 6% interest paid only to the OAG for their involvement in collection and distribution. The OAG attorney forgot to "prove up" the court costs before the judge, so my ex and his attorney refused to sign the new orders until the OAG removed those costs. Now we, the taxpayers, will share in paying that for him. The upshot is that I will now be reimbursed the correct amount for health insurance premiums and my kids have the benefit of an appropriate level of financial support from their dad. At least according to the court orders...

Since my level of trust with the OAG CSD is already a bit shaky, I checked bank statements for March and April. Deposits from the OAG from March 1 to present remain the same as before, with no additional $126.12 for the health insurance premiums, no additional $100 for the obligation previously owed, and no change to the child support previously assessed.

At this point, I'm very thankful to be an educated woman with a job that pays me well enough to pursue matters like this in court. How differently would this situation have gone if I were uneducated and working at an hourly-wage job? Would I be fired for taking time off to be in court? Could I survive being $2,000 behind in my bills? Could I afford to pay an attorney to represent me in the court system? The CSD is supposed to be helping families by ensuring parents are meeting their court-ordered obligations while providing financial oversight and a buffer between parties who may not get along very well. The track record with my ex leaves me no other option than to work through the legal system. To date, the entire process has left me regarding the CSD as having an even lower level of service and competence than the DMV. The people are generally nice and I can see they mean well, but the system is inefficient. Now I not only have an ex who is constantly out of compliance with court orders, but a division of the State of Texas is currently out of compliance, as well. How can I even address that?

Blog Date: Monday, May 8, 2017

On May 3, I finally received an e-mail on May 3 to begin a NEW round of fun.

May 3 e-mail from OAG Financial Specialist:

"Because we have no idea what was actually received we assume the records provided are true and correct and do not alter the entry into our credit calculator in any way other than to omit any payments which are dated prior to the effective date of the orders.  Based on the affidavits you completed there is a total of $12,188.78 in direct payments which you received. This does not account for the interest accruals which will re-calculate once each payment is updated.

"With the original credits removed there is a balance owed of $9443.22 for both child and medical support as well as this month’s current support obligation.  PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT THE NEW 2017 ORDER HAS NOT BEEN LINKED AS OF YET AS WE CAN NOT DO SO UNTIL THE CREDITS ARE UPDATED.

"The issue that now exists is that once I update these individual credits as opposed to the lump sum credits updated previously, [he] will have a greater future pay amount than he did previously. 

"9443.22(arrears owed) – 12188.78(direct pmts) = -2745.56 (future pay) + any interest that has accrued.

"Please review the attached ADP’s to confirm that they are correct. If they are in fact correct I will update the individual credits per Attorney Truong the resulting future pay amount will be calculated by the system and correct. In regard to your concerns regarding the new order, it has not yet been linked in our system due to the contested future pay amount. Until the future pay is resolved we cannot link the new order."

May 3 response from me:

Affidavit 1 is for out-of-pocket medical expenses from [him]. Those amounts were NOT part of the child support or health insurance reimbursement amount.

Affidavit 2 and 3 are for the same thing. Affidavit 2 was sent first, but apparently not entered properly into the system, generating another inquiry from the OAG. Affidavit 3 was delivered in person to the CSD office in Missouri City to clear up the issue with the way #2 was mis-handled. The last page of #3 is the documentation from my bank, showing amounts received.

The amounts are not cumulative. The TOTAL he paid in child support prior to getting into the OAG's system is $6,921.30.

You show direct payments of $12,188.78.

Actual direct payments received = $6,921.30

Difference = $5267.48 - I can't account for how your system may have arrived at this figure.

The medical support judgment agreed upon on March 1 was $1,852.37, to be paid at $100/month plus interest.

I have attached a copy of the payment record from your website with my notes in red, along with the deposit pages of my bank statements, with amounts received highlighted. I have checked and the deposits match the OAG's payments to the penny.

All of this started over my ex being $2,000 behind in out of pocket medical and the difference in insurance premiums as they increased and when I changed jobs. I paid my attorney a $2,500 retainer, all of which was used because the defendant's attorney dragged out the negotiations in court. Ms. Truong was not able to support the claim of a large credit that I had supposedly received in error, so we had to table that part until I could go over the details with you. 

The current health insurance premiums and medical support judgment were to begin March 1 and new child support April 1. Here we are in May because it has taken me two months of inquiries to get in touch with you. I won't pretend to understand all the inner workings of your software. All I am concerned with is that the amounts received by me are correct according to the orders and that I don't wind up short, either now or in the future due to a clerical error that causes the system to show a credit.

My ex did not begin with any arrears, which I documented in an affidavit. Unfortunately, a person in Austin failed to enter that affidavit correctly and it has been a mess since then. The initial $6,921.30 that he paid directly should not have been assessed by the OAG, nor should there be any related interest charges. I can't believe I'm spending time defending him on this, but I am a fair and honest person. He owes what he owes, but not what he has already paid. 

I hope you are able to dig back into your records far enough back to rectify all of this from the beginning. If you're feeling extra ambitious, you could fix the additional $94.82 noted on the Payment Record. I can't explain why I received those extra funds and don't mind a correction of the error. Perhaps then the figures will be correct to present date and the new amounts can then be entered.

May 8 phone call to the OAG:

Since I never received a response from the financial specialist, I called to inquire. The specialist only include an 800 number in her e-mail, so I enjoyed a 15 minute hold time, followed by a 10 minute conversation with a nice lady who told me I'd have to send ANOTHER affidavit to confirm everything I've ALREADY confirmed in two previous affidavits, plus an e-mail. She directed me to their website to download the form since I did NOT receive the e-mail her system notes indicate was sent to me the previous week. 

Anyone want to take bets on the outcome of this exercise?

Contemplating White Privilege

I read a blog the other day that a friend posted. In it, the author lamented being exhausted to the point of not being able to go on by “well-meaning white people.” It struck me. I’ll not discount the experience of another person, but the assumption that my white face might somehow exempt me from the trials and tribulations of this life was a bit much for me, especially during this season in my life, when there are many days when I truly wonder if I can get through one more day.

If I look at another person and judge them as “privileged,” am I not also saying that I am NOT privileged, or somehow LESS privileged? When I look at another person and decide they have more than I do, or that their life is somehow better or easier than mine, all I’m really saying is that I am not content with my own life. I don’t actually know enough about anyone else’s life to make that judgment. I don’t know their pain or the level of work and sacrifice they have put into getting where they are. I don’t know their family or how their upbringing has shaped who they are. Would I REALLY want to trade lives with anyone else? Would the author REALLY want to trade lives with me? Because my life would not produce the person she is today. Is she really that dissatisfied with who she is?

And while we’re on this idea of privilege, I can think of very few Americans who can rightfully say that they are NOT privileged. Who among us is at daily risk of being bombed? Who has experienced human slavery or trafficking? Who has no access to clean drinking water? Who has had literally everything they’ve owned or worked for destroyed by an enemy? During these perilous days on our planet, do we, as Americans, have ANY right to feel sorry for ourselves or to demand sympathy from each other, when we really should focus our attention to those who are TRULY in need?

I’m not saying the author has never been mistreated. I AM saying that she should not assume that my white face has exempted me from the same mistreatment and some she has not personally experienced. Not because I’m white, but because I’m ME. Each of us has experiences in life that have shaped who we are. And as much as I would love to be more or better than the person I am, I have no reason to look at other people and make any assumptions about why their life looks better than mine at this particular moment in time. I have NO IDEA what experiences have shaped the life of the next person. If I want my life to be different, the only person I can look at is ME.

You can call me “well-meaning” or “privileged” or whatever you will. Could we both go further if we supported each other, knowing that this world can dish out enough damage for both of us?

Sincerely,

A Well-Meaning White Person

Christmas 2014

Yes, dear friends, it HAS been a very long time since I've sat down to blog. There are so many events and thoughts over the past year that I should have recorded here, but hope this annual update will bring you all up to speed for now.

First things first: MERRY CHRISTMAS! I have a personal reason to celebrate life each day, and if you know Christ, you do, too.  Here's a brief clip from my FAVORITE part of my FAVORITE Christmas movie.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Linus really gets it, don't you think?  If you don't read another word of my annual Christmas letter, then know that my thoughts, prayers and well-wishes are with you during this season and throughout 2015. If you DO want "the rest of the story," then grab your favorite beverage, get comfy and read on.

Last Christmas was spent getting used to the new way of doing holidays in our family. The kids spent the first half with me and we had a Hobbit watching party, watching the first movie at home before going to the theater to watch The Desolation of Smaug. When the kids left for their dad's, I put away all the decorations and then left New Year's Day to tour a large hospital campus in south Texas. My 1-hour flight ended some 15 hours later after flying to Edinburg, detouring to San Antonio, taking another plane to Edinburg, returning to San Antonio, and taking a tour bus to Edinburg. The airport was closed when we arrived and I was quite thankful my corporate travel agent moved my hotel reservation to the airport and I could take a taxi! The job went well, we ended up writing the account, and the flight home was completely uneventful. WINNER!

Speaking of winners, Teagan and Erin were busy with High School and Jr. High basketball, respectively. It was a busy season!!  All of the kids were still taking music lessons and Cullen was participating in the 5th grade choir at school. In mid-January, Brandon, Teagan and I met Sabrina in Austin for the 3M Half Marathon. The kids trained with me on occasion before the race, so it was no surprise when I beat them! I also finally broke 2:00 with a new PR of 1:59:33 (yes, just 27 seconds under my goal.) Brandon and Teagan ran together and finished not far behind me and Sabrina finished just a short while later. The kids and I were able to get cleaned up at the hotel before driving back to Houston. I had just enough time to run inside for my ski jacket before catching a flight to Providence for a week of training and blizzards! While I was gone, Brandon turned 16. Mom of the Year wasn't able to get him to the DMV for his driving test until several weeks later because I got back from Providence Friday, did laundry and left for a 2-day meeting in Dallas on Monday, then a 3-day trip to San Antonio the following week.  Keep reading, you'll begin to notice a theme here...

In February, Brandon competed at UIL Solo & Ensemble, earning a "1" (Superior) for his solo performance, which gave him enough points to earn his letter jacket. He chose not to order it that year, but I was very proud of him all the same. Sabrina and I ran our last half marathon of the season.  By February, we're TIRED of running, so we slogged along, posted horrible times, ate and drank what was left in the finish area and made plans for triathlon season! Basketball season wound to a close and Erin's team went all the way in the playoff brackets, finishing first in district!

I was asked to do a prospect visit at a healthcare account I served 15 years ago and was so happy to find they were as good as I remembered. I was even happier to later learn we wrote the locations I visited. I located a counselor to give the kids some support for the ongoing stress of learning to go back and forth between addresses and to work through their own emotions during this time. She was able to help some of the kids more than others and ultimately ended up only seeing Cullen to help with some anger he was experiencing between school and home. Brandon was FINALLY able to take his driving test.  Of course, he passed and it has been a huge blessing to have another driver in the house!  Our insurance didn't even double since we didn't add a vehicle and he gets a good student discount. Gas mileage on the Expedition is terrible, so he's thankful it's only a mile to school each day!

In March, the High School orchestra took the "once-every-four-years-BIG-trip" - to Disneyland! As many times as we've been to Disney World, we've never visited Disneyland. I was asked to chaperon, and I jumped at the chance!  The kids were great and I had a fantastic time getting to know the directors a lot better, along with the other chaperons and even the high school principal! I'm not sure many schools have an administrator who is as fun and cool as ours. The chaperon I roomed with is a law professor at University of Houston and helped me understand so much more about the legal process than my lawyer had time to explain. The kids got to rehearse, play and record several pieces from Disney films in the back-lot recording studio. We visited the Holocaust Museum in LA, along with many scenic areas around Los Angeles, and rode the best rides at Disneyland, California Adventure and Universal Studios.  All while wrangling two tour buses full of the best kids any chaperon could ask for. I returned home tired and happy and can't wait for the next trip! 

While we were on the west coast, Erin and Cullen went with their dad to Disney World for Spring Break. Cullen celebrated his 11th birthday there. I got him a birthday button at Disneyland and a few other things. Mom of the Year missed another birthday! Cullen's choir had their big final concert and invited all the alumni to join them for one of the songs. Teagan and Erin went up, and were surprised that several adults had been 5th grade choir students 10 years ago when the school opened. The 5th grade choir also took their big trip to Moody Gardens in Galveston at the end of March to celebrate their 10th year. 

In April, I spent a week in Louisiana and a week in Beaumont visiting locations for one of my large healthcare accounts. Brandon took the PSAT in March and his results were good enough that he was on the cusp to be a National Merit Finalist, so he attended a multi-session review program offered by the district to qualifying students. Brandon got certified as a lifeguard so he could work for our community swim teams. Erin turned 13 at the end of April, while Mom of the Year was in Beaumont.

Swim team kicked off in May, with Brandon guarding and coaching for another team and Erin swimming for our team. Teagan and Cullen decided to take the season off. The team board was really impressed by the job Brandon did with the new little swimmers and he was proud to report that all of HIS little swimmers were able to swim across the pool before the drop deadline. Erin really hit her stride as a swimmer this summer, earning a lot of first place finishes and an entry to Meet of Champs at the end of the season. There were several events where she posted better times than some friends who swim year-round with a private club and she has now decided that she'll try out for the high school swim team in the fall. Her best stroke is butterfly, which is a very difficult stroke to master, followed by freestyle, which she also does extremely well. 

Teagan, Erin and I formed a relay team for the TriGirl Super Sprint (200 m swim, 8 mi bike, 2 mi run) on Mother's Day. Last year we finished first, but fell to third this year as the race has grown in popularity. We'll train harder in the spring and be back in 2015! I also competed individually at No Label triathlon in April and Springs Back triathlon in May. My times were nothing brag-worthy, but sometimes just finishing is good enough. I volunteered at Ironman Texas again since Sabrina (my bestie) was competing. It was a long hard day for both of us (her much more than me!) but she finished well and I had a great time as always. The school year wound to a close and I finished the month out with trips to Dallas and Lafayette.

June brought several swim meets for Erin, Tejas Triathlon for me, Kamp Kingsland for the older three kids, summer school for Brandon and Teagan (extra credits), and Strength and Conditioning Camp for our student athletes. Cullen was glad to watch TV and play video games! I was able to schedule mostly local work for June. This summer we all got familiar with the new way our family does summer vacation between two households. It wasn't without it's sticky spots, but we got through it just fine.

The older three kids left for their respective mission trips in July. Brandon went to Montana, Teagan to Chicago and Erin to Arlington, TX. Cullen got to spend the week having fun with my parents while I took care of some work in San Antonio. The following week started a 2-week period with their dad and I went to Charleston, SC for a company meeting. I got back just in time to catch the AC drain overflow line fail and run down the wall between my bedroom and bathroom, ending in the garage ceiling. I'm grateful I was home and the damage was mostly minor drywall that ServePro was able to dry out. We still have a small patch job to do on the garage ceiling, but it truly could have been a lot worse! The end of the month saw a little local work for me (finally!) and Cullen went to Pre-Teen Camp.

The kids spent the first half of August with their dad and I used the time to get work done in Lake Charles, LA. Brandon and Teagan had the high school summer orchestra camp, which always ends in a nice concert. Cullen attended "Pup Camp" to get ready for Jr. High and auditioned for the Jr. High orchestra since he'd already had a year of violin lessons. He made the third group, which is very good for a beginning violinist.  Teagan and Erin participated in a research study through Texas Children's and earned $100 each for being part of a control group! After much consideration and discussion of the pros and cons, Brandon decided not to continue with football this school year. I think he made a wise choice, but it was still sad for both of us because he enjoys the sport so much. He knew Junior year would be challenging and busy and decided it would be best to devote more time to academics and music, which didn't leave extra time for football practice and games. 

Everyone attended the back-to-school festivities to get schedules and lockers and books. I wrote a bazillion checks. We sat down to our usual flurry of first-day-of-school paperwork. We've gotten rather efficient with the process and the kids fill out all of their own paperwork with a little help on some information. Then I sign the entire stack at one time, they sort and get everyone's forms back in their own backpacks. It's a little crazy for an hour or so, but it gets the job done and I don't end up with writer's cramp! This year, Brandon is a Junior, Teagan a Sophomore, Erin an 8th grader and Cullen a 6th grader. My people are finally all back on the same campus! Brandon is able to drive everyone to school unless someone has early sports practice. My dad helps fill in the gaps in the afternoon when they get done with activities at different times. Having a safe, reliable high-school driver is a huge blessing!! My birthday came and went without much fanfare. I'm finally the age I've had written on my calf all year - 43! It's been a long year and I'm tired, but I'm in the best shape of my life and I'm surrounded by great people.

September saw travel to Edinburg, TX and Dallas. Teagan turned 15 while I was in south Texas, giving me a perfect score for Mom of the Year! She was able to get her Learner's Permit the following week when I returned and has enjoyed learning to drive. Erin made the 8th grade volleyball team and had a great season, finishing District Runner-Up in the final tournament. Everyone got back into the swing of things with the regular school-year schedule. There are days for music lessons, church days, game days, and all the various activities that go on each week. 

In October, Brandon auditioned for the Region Orchestra. The music comes out mid-summer and he worked hard and earned a spot in the top group. Erin tried out for the church youth band and sings back-up for them about once a month. Teagan and Brandon each had dates to Homecoming this year, so we had fun making a mum and a garter (for those not in Texas, just Google what that means!) Teagan was very upset to find she was cut from the JV Basketball team, but then learned from one of her teachers that the school district needed lifeguards, so she took the class and has been guarding for the district since then. It's a great first job and coordinates well with her school schedule. I love that she's so resilient when disappointment comes her way! 

I competed at the Oktoberfest triathlon as part of a relay on the Olympic distance race, so I only had to run a 10K distance. Sabrina swam and Brandon took the bike leg, even though he hadn't been on his bike in about a year. He said it was a tough ride since he didn't train, but he still did well. I spent a week in New Orleans for work mid-month. Brandon attended the Area auditions and taped for All-State. He hasn't made it yet, but has continued to move up the ranks and hopes to make it next year.

In November, Sabrina and my friend Eileen came down from Michigan to relay the Texas Oilman 70.3 triathlon. Sabrina is always the swimmer, Eileen took the bike 56 miles and I ran the 13.1 miles at the end. It was a rather warm day and course changes provided a challenging run. We didn't get the podium finish we hoped for but still had a great weekend together despite the crazy schedules with everyone's jobs. I had a quick trip to New Orleans and then handled local work and reports for the remainder of the month. Erin tried out and made the 8th grade basketball team and has had a good deal of success on the court. Brandon played in a fantastic Region Orchestra concert. The girls and I ran in the YMCA Turkey Dash on Thanksgiving morning and then my parents and Sabrina's family joined us for dinner. We all had a great time eating, watching football and just hanging out.

The first weekend in December, Sabrina and I ran the 5th annual RunGirl 13.1. We later found out we are two of 8 people who have run every year. It's a special race for me since it was my first half marathon. Brandon finally ordered and received his letter jacket right before the school break. He did all the design himself and it turned out really well. The boy who NEVER wears a jacket has worn it every single day since it was delivered. 

Because of the workload this year, I ended up with a LOT of leftover vacation time. I wrapped up all but one report, sold days I could, rolled a week, ended up working through one of the weeks, but finally took off the last half of December. It has been wonderful to finally have some downtime. I've been truly exhausted by the workload this year and the other "stuff of life" hasn't been the easiest, either.

I'm relieved to report that as of Friday, December 19, after 17.5 months of litigation and more money than I care to divulge, my divorce is final. The process was absolutely awful from beginning to end and there are still a few minor details to wrap up in 2015, but I'm relieved that I can walk into 2015 free and healthy and can chart a new course for myself. 

I spent this weekend running. The 10th Goofy is in three weeks and the medal is really neat this year. Sabrina is just crazy (Goofy?) enough to come run it with me again. This was our 30-mile weekend where we ran 10 on Saturday and 20 on Sunday. Part of our 20 was the Santa Hustle 13.1 in Galveston. With four miles before and three after, I still posted a 2:08:12 race time, which I'm very satisfied with. I know my girls will want to run this with me next year - it was a lot of fun!

So, that's it for this year's Christmas letter / Year In Review. I pray your family can see and feel the blessings of God both now and in 2015. Despite the difficult times this year, I can tell you with absolute certainty that God has been in complete control, has delivered on EVERY promise, and has held me together when I wasn't sure I could take another breath.

I hope you enjoy this picture of my kids, taken by Madison Hennings, Brandon's girlfriend.

Christmas letter in process

Hi! I'm working on the Christmas letter today, so if you're reading this, just check back in a day or two.

In the mean time, here are some fun pics from the year.

2013 Christmas Letter

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”  Isaiah 7:14

Merry Christmas 2013!!  This year has involved a lot of change, but some things have remained the same.

January – yep, basketball season.  Teagan made the 8^th grade team and I love watching her play.  Brandon, Teagan and Erin were involved in the Orchestras at their respective schools and in LifeGroups at church.  I ran the Goofy Challenge at Disney World with my friend Sabrina.  That’s a half-marathon on Saturday and a full marathon on Sunday - 39.3 miles through all 4 parks and many places in between. It was AWESOME!!  Brandon turned 15 – only one more year until he can drive!  J

February – Erin played league volleyball to get ready for 7^th grade tryouts in the fall.  Everyone had weekly music lessons.  Brandon had a date to the Sadie Hawkins dance at school – seems like he ALWAYS has a date these days.  I’m trying to decide if I should be concerned or not!  Brandon and Teagan ran the Rhythm & Blues 5K while I ran the half-marathon - set a new Personal Record (PR)! 

March – Cullen turned 10!  Double Digits!  For Spring Break, Brandon got his wisdom teeth removed.  It was really the only downtime in his schedule! He lived on nutrition shakes for a week but recovered well.  Teagan started AAU basketball and Brandon did off-season football and worked on his bass solo for UIL (he got a “2”.)  I spent a week in L.A. for more job training.

April – AAU tournament games began, taking up a LOT of time on the weekends. Brandon and I started back into triathlon training and did the No Label triathlon.  We each won first place in our age divisions!  Erin turned 12 and started wearing contacts, which are safer for sports and helped a lot with her ability to see the ball in volleyball.  After having a lot of trouble getting along in school for the past several years, we finally took Cullen to a psychologist, who recommended a psychiatrist, who prescribed Ritalin and an anti-depressant.  I’ve fought against medication for many years, but decided to give it a try under the circumstances.  It has made a HUGE positive difference for him!  I really do wish I had pursued this course of action sooner for him!

May – Swim practice started the first week in May.  I went with Teagan on the Jr. High Orchestra Spring Trip to Fiesta Texas, where once again, Cinco Ranch JH bands and orchestras took home ALL the trophies!!  Erin, Teagan and I formed a relay team for the TriGirl Super-Sprint Triathlon and won first place!!  It was Erin’s first open water swim – 200m on a choppy lake and she swam it like a true competitor!  Teagan completed the 2mi. run at an impressive pace!  School ended with a flurry of concerts, tryouts, competitions, tournaments, auditions and the Behrens Bass Studio Recital, where the Settle Quartet made their debut with a piece arranged by Sabrina Behrens for bass, cello, viola and violin.  It’s on YouTube. J  The kids finished 9^th, 8^th, 6^th and 4^th grades. 

June – Swim meets and summer camps.   Brandon, Teagan and Erin swam at Meet of Champs, had a great time at Kamp Kingsland with the student ministry and attended sports camps to get ready for fall tryouts.  Cullen did tennis and golf camps.  I got laid off from L.A. Turbine at the end of June.  I was shocked, but was already looking for another job and ramped up my efforts to 100%.

July – Brandon went to Chicago, Teagan to Waco and Erin to Houston on mission trips with the student ministry and had wonderful experiences. Teagan still had ongoing weekend AAU tournaments.  Brandon competed at the Shadow Creek tri in Pearland and finished third in his age group at Jeff & Brede’s triathlon in Katy.  July is also where the wheels came off. For reasons I don’t want to share in a Christmas letter, and after much prayer and counseling, I filed for divorce on July 5^th.  Stressful summer – uh, YEAH!

August – Two good job offers came in and I started with Zurich on the 19^th with training in Schaumburg, IL.  I’m back to Risk Engineering consulting, which I love!  School started, Teagan was the last cut from volleyball tryouts and was the Freshman A-Team manager all season.  Brandon played sophomore football and his team went undefeated!!  In the average week, we have 3 music lessons, volleyball and football games, LifeGroups and church.  I now have two in high school, one in Jr. High and am in the LAST year of elementary at a school we opened just 10 years ago.  I cannot WAIT for next year when they’ll all be on ONE campus!! 

September – Teagan turned 14!  Brandon, Teagan and I ran in the church’s Just Run for a Just Cause.  That race awoke my passion for running just four years ago and has a lot of meaning for me.  I went to Cranston, RI for training at Tyco’s fire lab – cool stuff!  Erin auditioned for the school musical and played one of Ariel’s sisters in The Little Mermaid.  Brandon, Teagan and Sabrina formed a relay team and I competed individually at the Katy Triathlon at Firethorne.  It was rainy, but we had fun!

October – Per the September mediation, Robert finally moved out.  It was rocky with everyone getting used to weekends at dad’s place.  Grades suffered and stress ran high.  Brandon earned first chair in the 2^nd group for Region Orchestra, made Area and recorded for All-State, where he ranked #100 bass state-wide.  Definite improvement over last year!  J  Brandon and I competed in the Oktoberfest duathlon (swim cancelled due to weather) – I placed second and Brandon first in our respective age groups!  YEAH!

November – Sabrina, Eileen (new tri friend!) and I formed a relay for the Oilman Texas 70.3 tri on Lake Conroe – we JUST missed the podium, placing 4^th, but each had a good race.  If that half-marathon were stand-alone, I would have had a PR!  Brandon played in the Region Orchestra concert and Cullen attended a fun robotics camp.  Teagan and Erin each made the school basketball teams (T plays guard and E plays post) and are having as much fun playing as I am, watching!  Thanksgiving was a little different – the kids were with their dad and I spent part of the day with my parents and the rest of the weekend just getting stuff done.  It was good and productive, just not as fun or restful as I would have liked.  But I’m learning how to be myself again, which is great.

December – Sabrina and I did our 4^th RunGirl 13.1.  It was a misty 37°F at the start!  I set a new PR at 2:05.  Still trying to break 2:00 this season with 2 (or maybe 3) races left.  We shall see! In general, life is good, the kids are doing well, my new job is great and I have the love and support of friends and family.  That brings us to present, meaning the Christmas letter will go out on time! 

Keep Christ first in your hearts, minds and actions this Christmas!

Love, Donna, Brandon, Teagan, Erin and Cullen

Tips for Strings Events - from a Bass Roadie

For the record, violin, viola, cello and bass are all well represented in my house.  I supposed if I'd take up harp, we'd be complete in the strings world.  But that's not going to happen!  I've been a bass mom for 4 years now and it's high time I share these tips to aid in the logistics of strings competitions and events.

1. Plan a drop-off lane for bass and cello ONLY.  There's nothing more frustrating when trying to unload your bass and gear than to have the drop-off area clogged with violins.  Event planners - consider a separate lane for bass and cello, and an outer lane or area for violin & viola.  Or perhaps a different parking lot altogether.
2. When you drop off your musician, DRIVE AWAY.  By the time your dear child is old enough to compete at the Jr. High and High School level, they are old enough to walk into the building without your watchful eye from the car blocking the driveway.  Remember:  Stop, Drop and Roll.
3. If you're carrying a smaller instrument, please be aware of the bass bearing down behind you.  If it was easy, everyone would do it!  But there are only a few basses entering the building, usually trying to do so quickly.  The lower bout makes a perfectly good plow when necessary, so walk quickly, or step aside.
4. Moving a bass is a two-handed operation, leaving no free hand to get the door.  So please, if you're carrying a one-handed instrument, be kind to your fellow musician and hold the door open.  Or at least don't allow it to slam in our faces.
5. Planners and directors - the bass and harp rooms do NOT have to be at the farthest point from the entrance to the building.  Really.  This concept also applies to practice and uncasing rooms.  There's nothing fun about navigating a bass through a sea of violinists spread out on the floor to uncase and tune.

Implementing even some of these tips will greatly speed the process of loading, unloading and navigating with strings.  Enjoy your next performance or competition!

Weekend Cycling ADVENTURE!

Sabrina and I had a real adventure this weekend.  Our plan was to drive out to Sealy, TX and ride up TX-36 to Brenham for some hill training.  These aren't BIG hills, but hills nonetheless.  My assignment was to plan the route and stops.  This was pretty easy - a straight shot up TX-36 with stops at 15 miles in Bellville (for more kolaches at Newman's Bakery!) and then on to Brenham for lunch and come home by the same route.  The total route was about 60 miles.

This plan was working really well.  I went to #2 child's basketball game at 8am, then met Sabrina to pick up my bike and drove out to Sealy (about 30 min. from home.)  We parked at the Whataburger on the south side of I-10 at TX-36 and we were on our way, after a brief pause to put the chain back on my bike as it had slipped off in transit.  Sabrina was then coated in chain grease, but she's a trooper (and a good friend!!)  The ride was great through Sealy, and then reality struck.  The next 13 miles to Bellville was a CONSTRUCTION ZONE!  I guess my route planning omitted the step where I checked TxDOT Expressway for roadway construction projects on my route.  OOPS!  A few seconds on this pavement and we could tell WHY it was under construction.  I'm not sure how old that asphalt was, but there was NO tar left in the gravel and that was the ROUGHEST road we'd ever been on.  After the first 5 minutes, we were wishing for mountain bikes!

We agreed to press on to Bellville, ask about conditions on the road to Brenham and then pick an alternate route back to Sealy to avoid the construction.  Other than the rough conditions, the rest of the ride to Bellville was relatively uneventful.  We can always count on getting a few honks and cat-calls.  On this trip, we were honked at by cars, trucks, and a BNSF locomotive! And we did get cat-called by the same truck in Bellville TWICE (creep!)  A man at the bakery said the road to Brenham was much better and the construction "was already done."  So we decided to continue our plan.  The man was wrong.  Once out of Bellville, it was the same rough asphalt.  We were happy to see the county line (in Texas, that is often where the pavement changes) and we could see a different color of asphalt ahead.  Oh happy day!  Sadly, it was a different color of the same surface.  We jittered on to Brenham.  After a few miles, it doesn't matter because you can no longer feel your feet, rear, or hands.  But it IS enough to give your back a spasm!  Fortunately, the road widened to 4 lanes, giving us better clearance from passing vehicles.  Unfortunately, passing motorists didn't always see fit to use the left lane while passing us.

Joyously, we pulled into Brenham and stopped at the Whataburger on TX-36 just south of US-290 for lunch.  There was a table in a back corner, so we pulled our bikes in and stepped to the counter to order.  We were met there by a round manager who informed us that our bikes were "a health hazard" and needed to be removed immediately.  No, we could NOT order first.  We took our bikes and went a little further up the hill to Sonic, where we found a nice outside table and ordered some burgers.  Sabrina ordered hers with bacon!  I did not know before this that Sonic has public restrooms - I guess I always thought it was just a drive-in.  This was a welcome discovery!

After lunch, we turned our bikes south on TX-36 and began our jarring ride back to Bellville.  It was then that the headwind kicked up!  Our motto is to ride into the wind on the FIRST half of the ride, because a headwind is a bad thing when you're already tired.  But we're tough girls, so we fought our way back to Bellville.  We stopped at Dairy Queen to discuss our route changes back to Sealy.  We turned south off TX-36 onto Coshatte Rd.  AH - we found smooth asphalt!!  And HILLS!  And DOGS!  Those little Jack Russel Terriers are mighty fast when you're sprinting up a steep grade.  I think Sabrina rubbed my back tire with the bacon from her burger at lunch!  We escaped dog #1 unscathed.  A little further up the hill, we met dog #2.  He was about 3 times the size of dog #1, but responded better to my stern "NO, BAD DOG, GO HOME."  I used my "coach voice."  He only chased us a little while after that.

The plan was to take Coshatte to FM-331 to Peters San Felipe, back to TX-36.  Coshatte was pretty good road.  FM-331 was a little more rough, and we also found a group of guys out enjoying target practice on their land.  Fortunately, we didn't hear any bullets zing by our heads!  Everything went fairly well until we got on Peters San Felipe.  We intended to take that to Maler Rd, but it went to dirt after Junica.  And so we took Junica.  Oh look!  More bad asphalt!  By this time, we were just numb to our environment and looking to get home by any means necessary.  Alien abduction wouldn't have been out of the question!  We made it down Junica without further incident, then sprinted across TX-36 and on into Sealy.  We were never so glad to be back in a town with smooth streets!

As we pulled into the Whataburger and reloaded the bikes, we congratulated ourselves on surviving this latest adventure.  I think we're fully prepared for whatever the MS 150 has to offer!